You Know Who You Are

So here's the routine when I come to work:

I walk in.

I punch in.

Then I go to the back 'office' area, (If you can even call it that) and I read the 'message of the day' on the white board.

The white board is very important. In it lies the endless list of things that still need to be done, fault finding, usually grammatically incorrect, an ever so slight hint of positivity (rare) and 'have a great day' message from our manager.

Terrific.

I have to hunch over to read the board most times because most everyone I work with is considerably shorter than I, and then get to work. The messages usually don't apply to me but I read them anyways.

Well, in a word I am organized.

"A place for everything and everything in its place"
--Mother

Ive been taught well.

So anyone who is like me and has worked for fast food can relate to my daily frustration.

It may sound crazy, but I choose to do the dishes of my own free will and choice every time I work. It also helps that no one else ever does the dishes anyways.

Some how (in a sad kinda way) I derive a certain amount of satisfaction in creating order from chaos.

Take the sink for example. The sink area and every available surface in the surrounding area (including the floor) with its accumulation of dirty dishes awaits my daily rescue.

What would they do with out me?

Every night I work, I turn the danger zone into a systematically ordered work environment.

My favorite thing to do is to sort all of the lids by size, shape and type. The big lids go on the bottom shelf and small lids go on the upper shelf.

Its all so simple. No one else gets it.

Well, fast forward to tonight's shift and to my nightly organizational ritual...

First I begin the routine.

I walk in.

I punch in.

Hunch over to read tonight's message which reads:

"Please don't put all the small lids up on the top shelf! They are to be in reach of me! That includes the silver ones too!...

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE."

Not Just ANY Customer....

Setting: I am at the microwave pulling out the container of meatballs that have been thawing out for the correct amount of time. Now it is time to pour the meatball sauce and stir it in. It is late at night and my co-worker is making a sandwich for a customer who has just walked in.

Customer walks in.

Co-Worker: "Hey! How are you? Haven't seen you here in a while! Whats new?"

Obviously a friend of hers.

Me: (To my co-worker)"So do I just pour the sauce on top of the meatballs and then put it back in the microwave?"

Customer: "You know, If you divide the meatballs into two different pans, and then pour the sauce in, it will cook faster and it will be less of a mess."

Thinking to myself: (What do you know about making the meatballs? You're just a customer! I may not know what I'm doing here, but I bet I know more about this place than you do!)

Me: "Oh really? I didn't think about that. That's a good idea."

Co-Worker: "Yeah just pour some in and then stir it and put it back in the microwave."

I take the meatballs to the prep table and continue to do it my way, just in one container.

In the mean time, the customer gets their sandwich and leaves.

Co-Worker: "Do you know who that was???"

Me: "No, why?"

Co-Worker: "That was Jane, you know the head restaurant lady?"

I had heard about this lady before (of course everyone who works here knows who SHE is)I had just never met her before.

I had mostly heard.... not so pleasent things....

Me: *gulp* "Was that Jane?"

Note to self: If a customer comes in and offers you advice, they are not just ANY customer....

Sneak Attack

Setting: Walking into a restroom at work = Cleaning battle field

Cleaning the restrooms at work is one particularly disgusting job...(Only one among many I might add.)

(Further details spared for your psychological health and well being and for the continued business at this restaurant.)

So, with that in mind, one day at work it was my turn...(Uggg)...to go clean the restrooms.

I prepared for battle.

Off I went armed with only two bottles of cleaning supplies and several cleaning rags.

With great fear, not knowing if I should ever return, I enter the realm of 'rest'.

My battle plan was simple but dangerous. I had to avoid the enemy at all cost and attack them before they attack me.

I strategically placed my cleaning supplies on top of the toilet so that they can be easily accessible while I cleanse this place they call a 'restroom.'

As I begin the attack on the mirror, I start thinking to myself; "How can one possibly call this filthy place a 'restroom'? Its more like a outhouse to me..."

But then a sudden splash interrupted my trail of thought.

My eyes were torn from the half cleaned mirror.

And to my horror one of the bottles of cleaning solutions had slid from its original position...

and into the toilet.

Me: (The enemy is among us! They are trying to ambush us while our backs our turned by trying to rid us of our weapons! What a nasty battle plan! You disgust me!)

"Are you kidding me? Gross! Now I have to fish that out of the toilet? They are definitely not paying me enough for this!"

Attached to My Work

So I closed at the store the other night... Ugggg, what a night! But I was glad to be done with that place for the night. I can hardly wait to get home and wash my clothes, hair, everything!

And if you have ever worked for fast food, you know what Im talking about!

But then my sister calls. We are having one of those late night sister conversations, when...

I can't really put my finger on it.... until my finger reaches my elbow and its covered in MEATBALL SAUCE!!!!!!!

It followed me home...

And no I wasn't saving it for later!

Mixed Up

Behind the counter, the employees are allowed to have a cup of soda on the prep table while they work if they want one.

Most employees write their names or initials on the lid so that the cups don't get mixed up, but most people keep track of their cups and know the difference between Dr.Pepper and Sprite.

Well one day while I was at work it got really busy around 7:00pm like it usually does, so I came up to the front to help out on the line.

But first I was thirsty.

I grabbed the cup and took a large drink from what I thought was my lemonade.

It wasn't lemonade.

In fact it was something really gross that I don't ever drink so I had to run to the trash can in the back and I spit it out.

It was really gross.

Especially when I figured out who's cup it was...

Veggie?

Background: At our store, you have the option of getting your sandwich toasted or not. With some sandwiches, if a customer does not want their sandwich toasted, you need to heat up the meat in the microwave before putting it on their sandwich...

Setting: I have put the vegetables on a customer's sandwich, squirted several different types of dressings on it, wrapped it up tight, and placed it (complete with napkins) neatly in a bag. I have taken off my gloves and thrown them away. And I am now at the cash register.

Me: "Is that a Veggie today sir?"

Customer: "No I think you forgot the meat in the microwave."

Look Out Below!

Setting: I am doing dishes...

So in the back of the store I'm washing the dishes, and because there are so many dishes that need to be done, there is limited space.

So picture this: dirty dishes go next to you on the left, or on the floor and clean dishes go on your right.

You have to wash, rinse, sanitize, dry and put away.

At one point my dry, CLEAN dishes were piling up and they needed to be put away to make more room for more dishes.

So I got the big stool out and started putting dishes away on the unstable racks that are ABOVE THE DIRTY WATER.

Starting to see the picture?

Why are the racks for CLEAN dishes ABOVE THE DIRTY WATER?

Probably a boy's idea...

Anyways, so I was organizing the dishes on the rack when I knocked down several dishes while trying to save another because of the unstableness of the rack and many of my CLEAN DISHES fell into the mirky dirty water below.

Whose up for round two?

Not me...

My Talent Remembered

Setting: I am putting vegetables on a customer's sandwich...

(I will refer to a music director as 'Sally Smith')

Me: "Hey, what veggies can I get for you today?"

Lady: "Hey!! Were you that flower in the fifth grade play?"

Me: (Slightly taken back by her random question) "Excuse me?"

Lady: "Yeah you were so cute, you still have those big, brown eyes!"

Me: (Processing ...) "You mean the Nutcracker play in elementary school?"

Lady: "Yes!! And Sally Smith did a great job with the costumes!"

Me: "Yep I remember lots of lipstick involved.."

Lady: (Laughing)

Me: "You know I have graduated from high school now?"

Lady: "No way! Really? Wow! Long time go! Where are you off to college? Same as your sister Heather?"

Me: (How do you know my sister?) "I'm actually going to LDSBC."

Lady: "Oh fun...yeah and your sister Julie is going into the fifth grade next year?"

Me: (I have never seen this lady before in my life. Do I know you? How do you know me?) "Um, yeah."

Lady: "And your sister babysat my daughter once and your brother... went somewhere for two years?"

Me: "Yeah Brian was a missionary for our church in Spain for two years.."

(Mean while, I am finishing up her sandwiches)

Lady: "Well thank you for the sandwiches! And is your name Susan?"

Me: (WHO ARE YOU?) "Its Suzanne."

Lady: "Oh, well have a nice day!"

And then she left.

Well, I must have been a great flower for her to remember me ;)

'Let-Us' Put a Band-Aid on it

This story also happened a while back when I was new... I will refer to another co-worker as 2nd in Command...

Setting: I am putting vegetables on a customers sandwich and I have run out of lettuce...

Customer: "I would like some lettuce..."

Me: "Hold on, let me go get some."

I run back to the cooler to look for a bag of opened lettuce to find that there are no open bags of lettuce.

I find a bag of unopened lettuce and bring it to the prep table.

I search around for something to cut open the bag with.

Knife! Perfect.

I start to use the small knife to open the bag like I've seen other co-workers do before.

Only they didn't cut themselves.

Me: "Ouch!"

2nd in Command: (Comes around the corner.) "What happened?"

Me: "I cut my finger when I was trying to open this bag of lettuce."

2nd in Command: "Ok lets put a Band-Aid on it."

Me: (Ha ha very funny.... 'Let-Us' put a Band-Aid on it.... dumb lettuce....)

Text Message This Morning

First thing this morning, I find a text message from my boss at work:

Boss: "Who throw away the litle silver pak tht was above the prep table last nite? tht was our last tuscan mix!"

(Text language lol)

Me: (Remembering cleaning the prep table last night and throwing away a similar silver pack that she described of something that was half gone and half covered in mustard... gross... oops...)

Why Do We Even Sell Pizza?

I will refer to another co-worker as the 'Pizza Guy'.

Setting: I'm washing my hands when a customer comes in...

Me: "Hello! What can I get for you today?"

Customer: "Hello. I would like a cheese pizza please."

Me: "Sure thing! Well actually, our pizza is in the freezer right now, so it will take a while for it to thaw out first, is that alright?"

Customer: "That's alright."

Me: (Off to the freezer to grab a pizza and then I bring it back to the counter. I open the wrapping and then the man starts to tell me what kind of pizza he wants.)

Customer: "I would like extra cheese and then some of your vegetables."

Me: "Sure thing."

And so I begin to put on some of the vegetables he wants and the extra cheese.

In the toaster it goes and now we wait for a minute and twenty five seconds.

The timer goes off.

I pull the pizza out.

I put it into the pizza box.

Me: "Would you like that cut into fourths or eighths?"

Customer: "Fourths please."

I cut the pizza into fourths with some difficulty.

Hmmm thats different.

Maybe its just all the vegetables that is making it hard to cut.

Oh well.

Me: "Here you are sir! Enjoy your pizza!"

Customer: "Thanks." (Sits down at a table with his daughter and begins to eat the pizza.)

I start cleaning some counters and just doing my work...

When it dawns on me.

Customer: "Excuse me?"

I forgot to thaw out the pizza first.

Customer: "I dont think my pizzza was cooked enough or something...?"

Me: (Why do we even sell pizza? This is a sandwich place!) "I'm so sorry sir! Here, I'll make you a new one!"

Pizza Guy: "What happened? How long did you thaw out the pizza for?"

Me: "Not long enough."

Up-Side-Down

On my first day of working here, everything was new. Everything from formulas to cleaning to what we say had to be done the right way.

Most everything made since to me at the beginning except for the dressings. All of the dressings are labeled with their names except three. Why those three? Why aren't they labeled? Are they any different from the other dressings? Not that I could tell. I had no idea.

Anyways, most of the dressings are to the right of the vegetables so that when you are finished making a sandwich, you can grab the dressing with your right hand (if you are right handed that is) and easily squeeze the dressing out on the sandwich.

The dressings are also facing down, so for your convenience you simply have to pick up the bottle of dressing from its container and squeeze the appropriate amount on the sandwich. (which is three lines across the sandwich FYI)

Now, the only dressings that are not with the others are the oil and vinegar. They are on the left side of you with the salt and pepper shakers. Why over there? Who knows...

So on my first day, I was put on vegetables. A customer came though the line and asked for the vegetables they wanted and at the end I asked (just like I was told to do); "Would you like any dressings or salt and pepper on your sandwich today?" To which the customer replied, "Yes, I would like some oil and vinegar please."

I had never used the oil and vinegar before. I simply assumed they were the same as the other dressings, which if they were, they were also facing the same direction and I could simply squirt them on the sandwich.

I was wrong.

I picked up the oil and assuming it was facing downwards began to squeeze it on the sandwich.

It wasn't facing down.

In fact, it was facing up.

Thats why they are seperate from the others.

So the oil went squirting up into the air instead of on the sandwich where I had intended it to go.

Oops.

I meant to do that.

I turned the dressing around.

Wild Ham

Setting: Last night while closing, I was making sandwiches for two friends of mine...

Me: "Hey guys! How are you?"

Girls: "Good! are you closing?"

Me: "We're cleaning up, but we are still open. What can I get for you?"

Girl #1: "What is the 'Black Forest Ham'?"

Me: "It's just a ham sandwich, 'Black Forest Ham' is just the 'fancy' name for it."

Girl #2: "When you think of the name 'Black Forest Ham,' doesn't make you picture a wild ham running around in the back of the store from the forest?"

Me: (Picturing a 'wild ham' running around the back of our store...I can see it. Its quite the 'pig sty' in the back. Little does she know....)

Ello There!

This happened a while back and I just remembered, it was pretty funny. I will refer to another co-worker in this story as 'T-Bear.'

Setting: I am putting vegetables on a customer's sandwich...

Lady: "Ello there!" (she says very cheerfully)

Me: (Thinking she said 'ello' instead of 'hello' because she is just in a cheerful mood, so I in return say;)
"Well ello! what can I get for you?" (in a similar, cheerful way)

Lady: "Well, I would like some let-us, and to-mot-oes..."

Me: (Sort of 'mimicking' her cheerfulness;) "All-right" (and I begin to put on what she asks for.)

T-Bear: (At cash register) "So, where are you from? I noticed you have and accent..."

Me: (Oops! Just realizing that she wasn't just being cheerful...)

Can I Have a Cup?

Setting: I am at the cash register during a rush at lunch hour today and there are many people both in the line and sitting at the tables...

Me: (I am waiting at the cash register waiting for some sandwiches to be made so that I can ring them up and a kid comes up to the cash register.)

Kid: (He is as cute as can be, a little boy who is barely reaching the top of the counter, about five years old.)
"Excuse me. Can I have a cup?"

Me: (I figure that the kid's parents asked him from a nearby table to get a cup for water because they are too lazy to get up.)
"Why sure!"
(I hand him a small cup used for water or small sodas)

Kid: "Thank you!"

Me: (I watch the kid take the cup over to the soda machine and fill it with ice and then some Dr.Pepper. He fills the cup all the way to the top. I continue to think that his parents are somewhere and they already paid. But then the kid goes back into the line looking pleased as punch towards another man.)

Kid: "Look what I got dad!"

Kid's Dad: "Where did you get that?!!" (Looking angry and confused)

Me: (Oops...)

Lets Catch Up a Bit

Well, to start off I will share a few stories from past times working and then from now on they will be current.

Story #1

Setting: I'm at the cash register ringing a customer's order up...

Me: "Is that a foot-ball meat-long today?"

(Instead of a foot long meatball.)

Story #2

Setting: I'm putting vegetables on a customer's sandwich...

Me: "Hi! How are you today? Would you like the the works?"

Customer: "I'm good. Will you put mustard on my sandwich first before the vegetables?"

Me: "Sure." (I start to put mustard on the sandwich.) "What would you like next?"

Customer: (Starting to talk very fast.) "Lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers..."

Me: (I am tring to put vegetables on as fast as I can.)

Customer: "WAIT! I said no lettuce!"

Me: (To my horror the lettuce is stuck to the sandwich because of all the mustard and because that was the first thing I put on.)
"Oh!! I am so sorry!"
(I try to pick off as much lettuce as possible and now getting mustard all over my gloves which is quite a mess.)

Customer: (Begins to laugh.) "Ha ha, just kidding! How long have you been working here?"

Story #3

Setting: Well, work is not always perfect and neither are the people you work with. I will refer to one of my co-workers as "The Chatter-box" I dont really call him this at work but that is what I will call him here. I am doing the dishes in my clean and organized way...

The Chatter-box: "Wow, you sure are doing a great job organizing and cleaning those dishes!" (He says a little too enthusiastically.)

Me: "Thanks..." (Wondering when this kid will ever stop saying the same compliments over and over.)

The Chatter-box: "Yeah you do a great job here... So when do you leave for the Air Force?"

Me: (Now this makes me really mad, because every time I work with The Chatter-Box, he always asks when am I going to the Air Force and every time with out fail I tell him that I am not going to the Air Force and that I am going to college up in Utah.)
"I'm not going to the Air Force Chatter-box."

The Chatter-box: "WHAT?" (Asking in disbelief) "But you're so organized and I can totally see you in the Air Force... like me!" (He is a little obsessed with the Military and such..)

Me: (Why me? We go though this same conversation everyday.)

The Chatter-box: (Still rambling on about how good I would be in the Military as well.) "...Hey whats your last name?"

Me: (Random) "Why?"

The Chatter-box: "Just what is it?"

Me: (Heavy sarcasm) "...Sssmmith...."

The Chatter-box: "Smith?...hm... Lieutenant Smith! Wow! I like the sound of that, you know it rolls right off your tongue..."

Me: (Wow. I wonder why he didnt catch on or already know what my last name was, seeing that everyone's names are on the schedule, or on everything we have to put initials next to..)

Intro to Fast Food Folly

Fast Food Folly is my blog about my funny follies in the fastfood world. I have had many funny experiences in my job and I plan to share them here on my blog. Enjoy!