Lets Catch Up a Bit

Well, to start off I will share a few stories from past times working and then from now on they will be current.

Story #1

Setting: I'm at the cash register ringing a customer's order up...

Me: "Is that a foot-ball meat-long today?"

(Instead of a foot long meatball.)

Story #2

Setting: I'm putting vegetables on a customer's sandwich...

Me: "Hi! How are you today? Would you like the the works?"

Customer: "I'm good. Will you put mustard on my sandwich first before the vegetables?"

Me: "Sure." (I start to put mustard on the sandwich.) "What would you like next?"

Customer: (Starting to talk very fast.) "Lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers..."

Me: (I am tring to put vegetables on as fast as I can.)

Customer: "WAIT! I said no lettuce!"

Me: (To my horror the lettuce is stuck to the sandwich because of all the mustard and because that was the first thing I put on.)
"Oh!! I am so sorry!"
(I try to pick off as much lettuce as possible and now getting mustard all over my gloves which is quite a mess.)

Customer: (Begins to laugh.) "Ha ha, just kidding! How long have you been working here?"

Story #3

Setting: Well, work is not always perfect and neither are the people you work with. I will refer to one of my co-workers as "The Chatter-box" I dont really call him this at work but that is what I will call him here. I am doing the dishes in my clean and organized way...

The Chatter-box: "Wow, you sure are doing a great job organizing and cleaning those dishes!" (He says a little too enthusiastically.)

Me: "Thanks..." (Wondering when this kid will ever stop saying the same compliments over and over.)

The Chatter-box: "Yeah you do a great job here... So when do you leave for the Air Force?"

Me: (Now this makes me really mad, because every time I work with The Chatter-Box, he always asks when am I going to the Air Force and every time with out fail I tell him that I am not going to the Air Force and that I am going to college up in Utah.)
"I'm not going to the Air Force Chatter-box."

The Chatter-box: "WHAT?" (Asking in disbelief) "But you're so organized and I can totally see you in the Air Force... like me!" (He is a little obsessed with the Military and such..)

Me: (Why me? We go though this same conversation everyday.)

The Chatter-box: (Still rambling on about how good I would be in the Military as well.) "...Hey whats your last name?"

Me: (Random) "Why?"

The Chatter-box: "Just what is it?"

Me: (Heavy sarcasm) "...Sssmmith...."

The Chatter-box: "Smith?...hm... Lieutenant Smith! Wow! I like the sound of that, you know it rolls right off your tongue..."

Me: (Wow. I wonder why he didnt catch on or already know what my last name was, seeing that everyone's names are on the schedule, or on everything we have to put initials next to..)